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Delete Button?

The above expressions are reflections of individuals, who feel under chronic state of mental anarchy. They seek solutions and the end points. They feel life is like a big mountain. After the trek, they are hopeful of finding a summit which will declare that they have reached until the descent, too, needs to be considered. Every trekker knows this.

No matter, how tough the effort invested or no matter how much the view is admired, one cannot stay there forever. One needs to move.

So it is with life.

From the moment we are born, we undergo experiences. We find ourselves surrounded by caretakers, a culture, an economic background, a social environment. It makes us who we are, till we take charge of our ownselves and find our unique personal identity, claim and move with it.

The first few months of our life, we do not have access to language imprints, so we store all of it through emotional imprints.

We feel safety, security, acceptance, blue prints of acceptable standards of behaviour or the refrains.

Our body stores everything, every bit of what happens to us in form of muscular and visceral memory.

Then, language happens and we acquire a whole new storage system.

We categorise our happenings and begin a labeling system. This makes me feel nice, warm, pleasant. I would like this to repeat. This makes me feel eeky, cold, unpleasant. I rather not repeat this.

We go to great lengths to avoid the unpleasant and retain the pleasant.

In that attempt, human life unfolds.

The pleasant is the familiar terrain and so we maintain our diet patterns, clothing preferences, home decor for years. We indulge in nostalgia to bring back those experiences when the current scenario falls short of our 'pleasantometer'

We get paranoid to avoid the unpleasant. We go to great lengths to not get into that environment that remotely triggers 'unpleasantness' and fail to learn new skill, make new human connects and guard our comfort zones judiciously.

We never halt for a moment, walk out of our labeling zones and view the limiting perspective, this attitude creates. We limit experiences from entering our orbits. For, we are constantly filing away an impending occurence, judge it beforehand, allow it or disallow it

How unhealthy this is, the following metaphor will make it clear.

Imagine a person likes a certain 'sweet Dish'.

Can the person keep eating it every single meal?

Would it provide nutrition that the body requires to grow?

Hasn't science proven that a wide variety of food items are required in our platter in order to receive the nourishment and growth the body requires?

One may find, some items do not agree with the system. Some do. This decision can be operational only after one consumes it, atleast, a couple of times and reaches a decision to accept it as one’s diet or give it a miss.

Do we do that with each occurence of life?

We lay conditions on every one of it, we lay labels and restrict entrance of the ones, remotely, likely to cause the unpleasant occurence?

We decide before eating we cannot or should not eat this.

The expectations from a counselling set up or self healing program is that the unpleasant vanish!

Life is just happening. The insistence that 'this should not be happening' 'let it go away' is expecting our body to have a delete button. One press and stuff moved to trash bin. We work upon the belief system that there is an inlet opening or outlet opening of the body system. If this is true, how come a memory we thought was painful, resurfaces with no impact at all or an innocent association suddenly becomes a trigger?

Truth is everything that we ever witnessed stays with us. Some stories we keep active for purposes best known to us. Some stories we consciously put out of the immediate memory landscape.

We lament over broken hearts, financial issues, relationship frictions, lack of fortunes, traumatic events, losses. Somewhere deep down there is an irrational belief' It must not be so! '

We do have had beautiful compliments, loving encounters, kind gestures, triumphant moments in our lives but we let it be shadowed by recurrent whines!

Can we begin to view it a bit differently?

Just as we need all items on our platter, why not accept that every occurence is an' Experience'.

No labels attached!

Everything that ever happened to us viewed as 'Experience'

Our Experience!

How would that be?

This experience gave me gooey feel. It informed me what I like to hear, feel, touch.

This experience caused region around my gut to clench. It filled me with tremors. It informed me that I still could stay firm and complete my task.

This incident filled me with clenching teeth, jitters in belly. I may label it fear. Instead of trying to push it away, I held it and faced the situation. It informed me that I can get through when I hold a powerful emotion and move with it instead of resisting it.

If we took inventory of each experience in terms of how our body responded to it,what information about us as a person it generated, would we learn to accept each as part of our life?

In Counselling, then we would stop seeking an end point. We wouldn’t wait to arrive somewhere. We would know, we just are ! With all of it.

Here is a small experience awareness exercise that one can take home to savour the richness of all that happens to you.

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